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Write Your Care Plan Before You Need It
Here's How
by Starr Calo-oy
Why should you take the time to plan your care for the golden years? With the growing number of elderly every year, it is imperative to prepare and organize all important paperwork ahead of time so that your exact wishes can be carried out regarding your care, which will also make it easier for your adult children. "Baby boomers" or "the sandwich generation" — there are various labels used to describe this demographic group — and the facts speak for themselves. Census studies by the Administration on Aging, AARP and the National Alzheimer's Association have revealed that in the year 2000 there were 281,421,906 people living in the U.S. Of that number, 45,797,200 were over the age of 65. Within this population, 52% are mentally or physically handicapped and 33.4% are severely disabled.The most amazing statistic of all is that only 4.1% of our more than 45 million citizens over 65 are currently in nursing homes. This means that a staggering 43 million families are currently wrestling with what to do about finding appropriate care for their parents or are struggling to care for them themselves. This is not a problem that will go away; the numbers of the aged in our population are climbing every year, and it is estimated that by the year 2030, there will be 85 million Americans over the age of 60. We still have a long way to go before we peak.If we take into consideration the fact that people are living longer (according to the Census Bureau, the average age at death in the year 2000 was 85), we can see that there are millions of Americans between the ages of 38 and 67 who are of necessity making decisions about arranging care for their elderly parents or grandparents. Many of these caregivers have children of their own and the responsibilities of caring for them, both in the home and on the job; they want to help their parents, but they are simply overwhelmed. All too often, they suffer from a tremendous burden of guilt that keeps them from making important and sound decisions about their parents' care until it is too late — and their own health, careers or marriages are sacrificed in the meantime.Now that you know why and you feel convicted, let's talk about how to do it. The following is a check-list to help you make your wishes known and to organize all vital paperwork to keep in one place: 1) Go to an office supply store, like Mailboxes, Etc. or your local post office and purchase a Living Will packet and fill it out according to the instructions. You can spend much more money if you prefer to enlist the help of your attorney, but it's really not necessary because the forms are very user friendly. Make a copy for your Power of Attorney and your attorney and get it to them. Make a folder marked "Living Will" and place the document in it.2) If you have decided to invoke a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order and not enlist the aid of any artificial methods of keeping you alive such as a breathing machine, etc., you can pick up the legal document at the places listed above. Follow the instructions, fill in the blanks, mark a folder "DNR" and place it inside.3) In the event you become mentally or physically disabled and if you have sufficient finances available for private care, decide if you want to be cared for in your own home by a private nurse or agency, in a residential care home or specific nursing home. Write down your wishes and contact information if applicable and place the sheet in this folder. Make sure your POA and/or attorney has a copy of it and that you have expressed your wishes to all of your family members to avoid future conflict in the event that you are no longer able to verbalize your choices.4) Make a folder marked "Family Attorney," if you have one, and write down his contact information on it and place the page in this folder. (Make sure all information in the folders are legible; print clearly or type the information.)5) Make a folder for your financial planner or accountant, if you have one, with contact information. 6) Do the same for your power of attorney. If you don't have a POA designated, pray and ask the Lord to direct you to one. It can be one of your adult children that you trust implicitly, a trusted friend in good health or another family member that you believe will carry out your wishes if you become incapacitated. Make sure your family attorney understands the type of POA you need to carry out your wishes regarding your care and your personal finances and belongings and that your POA needs to have access to all of your holdings for your future care. The POA expires at the time of your death. You need to have the POA notarized in the presence of two witnesses who do not have any interest in your affairs. The attorney will go into more detail regarding the rules.7) You need to make a folder marked "Bank Accounts." Designate a sheet for each bank account you have with all contact information, passwords, balances, account numbers and the person's name that you primarily deal with. Update these as needed.8) If you have a current will, make a folder marked "My Current Will" and place a copy of it in the folder. If you want to update it, call your attorney and make an appointment to talk to him and get it done. Place another copy of the will with your POA and in your safe deposit box, if you have one, but be sure to mention this on another piece of paper to include inside the folder.9) If you are married, place your marriage certificate in a folder so named. Your spouse will need this if you pass away first so he/she can file for benefits.10) Place your current health, life and funeral insurance policies in folders so named. If you have been dealing with a particular agent, write the name and all contact information on a sheet of paper and place it in the folder. 11) If you have funeral arrangements made with a specific funeral home make a folder and place all paperwork relating to it inside along with contact information. 12) Make a list of all of your current credit cards and the passwords and balances on each and place the list in a folder marked "Credit Card Information Sheet."13) If you own any property, write the details down and place the sheet in a folder marked "Property."14) If you have a pension or retirement plan with any of your former employers, write down who are they and how they can be contacted and make a folder marked "Retirement Plan" and place the paper in this folder. 15) If you have any CD's or IRA's, write down who you have them with and any specific account numbers and passwords if applicable.16) Make a list all of your assets and debts and place them in a folder marked appropriately.Place all of the folders in a plastic, portable file box for future reference. This file box will contain your very life so you must make sure it's kept in a safe place. The attic is a great place if you have one and can get up there! This will take time to gather but you and/or your family, POA and attorney must have the information at any given time so get it done. Don't put it off. If you are doing this for a loved one and he has dementia or cannot communicate with you for this information, you need to initiate a search of his home and/or office. Enlist the help and legwork of your family. You may need to divide up the list among several people. Call a family meeting with a few of the more organized and diligent members. Schedule the next meeting with them (have them bring their weekly planners or calendars with them) before they leave. Tell them that you will all report on your findings at the next meeting.This may sound like a lot of unnecessary work but if you've never been through it, you have no idea how important it is to get it done right. If you have been through it and not been this organized, then you will appreciate our attention to the small details. The Word of God says it so perfectly: "Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established" (Proverbs 16:2-4).
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Starr Calo-oy
Columnist
Starr Calo-oy is the author of The Caring Caregiver's Guide to Dealing with Guilt. Along with her husband Bob, she has cared for the elderly in her home, My Brother's Keeper, for the past 15 years?since they returned from the mission field in Central America.?They specialize in the care of the terminally ill, dementia victims, such as Alzheimer's, as well as the general elderly public.?Visit www.caregiversadvice.net.
starrcalo-oy@satx.rr.com
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